As you have heard me talk about numerous times, this process has been so dragged on. I truly feel like the Lord was just preparing me (for many things) but in this case, for the ‘Good-byes’. I don’t do well with this and normally my soul aches and I get homesick, very homesick, depressed and experience major anxiety. I really hate leaving people. I feel comfortable knowing friends and family are close to me when I need them most and least. And I like my daily routine. I may have a busy Wife and Mum life but I always try to make sure that when I do see my friends and family it was as if no time had passed. I like knowing I am safe with them close by. But I am slowly learning to accept them in the virtual world too. That is okay. Friendships of any kind take work. I've only been here for just under a week but there is SO MUCH a person can learn that short period time.
But to say the least, my heart has been prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally for this. Even though in reality, the time stretched was not very long but the timing of when it all started made us anxious. Yes, I was emotional at times leading up to our departure, but honestly, I had such a peace. So if you’ve been praying for us, I feel it!
Sunday was a hard day for me. Probably the hardest yet.
One of my least favourite moments that I know i’ll have to face happened.The start of finding and attending a new church. Finding the right one for our family. A church we can call family and call home.
I could go on for a long time naming all the reasons why no other church will ever compare to Gateway Church but then that will only hold me and my family back from a really amazing church with really amazing people that Gods know we need for this next chapter and season of our story.
Gateway Church has been my home church for a very long time and today marked the first Sunday not being part of that church. Gateway was a place where I REALLY met God. Where He placed specific people and leaders in my life to help get back to a steady relationship and understanding with Him. I was lost and confused and had a hard time letting go of who I was and wanted to be in the flesh of my past but my spirit was aching for a change to happen. Gateway is where I truly found God.
I fully believe that with every season of life,God has the right people we need for that time. Some people are there for a lesson, some are for fun, some stay in our hearts forever, and some for just a period. But it all connects to one thing. Growth. BUT only if you let it.
This past Sunday was October 25. The first Sunday in 10 years we didn’t belong anywhere. I feel somewhat lost and lonely in that title. Although my heart is forever stuck on Gateway Church, I am excited to get stuck on the next church the Lord sticks us in.
We decided to take it easy on ourselves and check out a church that Chris’s supervisor invited us to attend as he was speaking at the service. We gladly accepted this invitation.
I will have to admit, this was hard. But I not going to sit here and compare all the pros and cons of that church and our home church. Although, it was a different denomination then what I’ve been part of for many years. But there was one thing that did connect us all. This church and the people in it, ultimately, all love Jesus. This church was very genuine, very welcoming, and made us feel special. The people who call that church “home” and ”family” feel those things because God placed them their for reasons I don’t know of. It was a lovely little church and I feel blessed to have been able to visit them.
Next week we start our journey in finding a church that is home for us. I’m scared, excited, nervous. I couldn’t help but cry when my oldest daughter exclaimed excitedly to me that she was excited to see her “sisters” as she names them to me, at ‘Pancakes Day”. Our little family had traditionally called church Pancakes Day because at the secondary location they provide a free pancake breakfast every sunday before the service. My heart just aches watching her figure all this out. That she won’t see her favourite friends for a while, because they go to a different church than us now.
Regardless, each day brings a new lesson, a new ache, a new happy and a new adventure. I am blessed to be on such an adventure. I highly suggest that if you want God to stretch and grow you, do this. Move to a different country. :)
We have only been here for us just a week but wowee, there is a LOT God can teach a person in such a short period of time.
Thanks for reading!